Alas, modern medical science mostly says, "Suck it up, cupcake!" Light exercise of the affected muscles provides temporary relief, but doing it is no picnic. Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs have been shown in some studies to provide relief, and in some studies not, and in some studies have been shown to delay healing. However, the good news is that in a worst case scenario, I should be pain-free within 96 hours after exercise, which means that I'll get at least a day of being able to get out of a chair like an able-bodied person before I go weight train again on Wednesday. (Don't worry! The post-exercise soreness for my second session will be much less bad - I've already trashed all of my weakest muscle fibers!)
There was a period yesterday during which I spent quite a lot of time contemplating whether I wanted a glass of water badly enough to endure the pain of standing up and walking to the kitchen to get it. This must be what people mean when they talk about a physical disability being mentally exhausting - it's bad enough that you can't just do what you want to do, but having to go through the whole, "Well, the water will be good for me. On the other hand, maybe I should just wait until I have some other reason to get up and then I can accomplish two things while only having to get up once..." is particularly draining.