wshaffer (wshaffer) wrote,

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Fic: You're a Mean One, Mr. Dalek

link for who_daily: a href="">You're a Mean One, Mr. Dalek</a> by lj user=wshaffer> (Daleks|G)

Title: You're a Mean One, Mr. Dalek
Rating: G
Characters: Daleks
Spoilers: None

A spoof of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch", inspired by swan_tower's request for Doctor Who/Dr. Seuss crossover fic. (A longer fic is in the works. This is just a bit of fun. As opposed to said longer fic, which is, of course, deadly serious.) It arrives a bit late for this year's holiday season, I'm afraid.

You're a mean one, Mr. Dalek.
You're the meanest thing in space.
You're as cuddly as a Cyberman.
You're as attractive as an Ood.
Mr. Dalek,
You're a rancid calamari in a Dalekanium case.

You're a monster, Mr. Dalek.
Your heart is a black hole.
Your brain is full of evil plots.
You've radiation in your soul.
Mr. Dalek,
Even Captain Jack Harkness wouldn't touch you with a 39-and-a-half-foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. Dalek.
In appearance, truly odd.
You have all of the compassion of a Weeping Angel squad.
Mr. Dalek,
Given the choice between the two of you, I'd take the Weeping Angel squad.

You're a foul one, Mr. Dalek.
Your voice, it truly grates.
You're a lumpy evil pepperpot.
Your heart is full of hate.
Mr. Dalek,
Your favorite expression for every occasion is, and I quote:

You're a rotter, Mr. Dalek.
You and all your Dalek band.
Your soul is like a desert filled with evil-smelling sand.
Mr. Dalek,
You're a xenophobic cephalopod who needs antigravity to get up a flight of stairs, with a sink plunger for a hand!

You nauseate me, Mr. Dalek,
And Davros, your Dalek boss.
You've tried to steal my planet,
And each time it was a loss.
Mr. Dalek,

You're a three decker marsh minnow and Krillitane oil sandwich with a spectrox sauce!
Tags: doctorwho, fic, lolz

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